10-7-17: A Birth Story

October 7, 2017 was a Saturday. It was the first Saturday of my Fall Break. I was 9 days shy of my due date. My husband, Andy, and I were expecting our first child, a daughter we’d named Ruby Elizabeth.

It seemed that Ruby would be a sleeper like her Mama. Once she’d started consistently moving, around 23 weeks, I noticed that she became particularly active about mid-morning. I’d wake up to go to work around 6:45 each day, get ready, head out, and I’d teach half the morning before she ever started to stir. On the weekends, that meant that the two of us, Ruby and I, were waking up around the same time.

That Saturday, I woke up mid-morning. Andy had been awake for a few hours and was in the other room, so I was alone in the bedroom. I always spent time before getting out of bed, “playing” with Ruby. I’d lay and feel her kicking, I’d watch my stomach move, I’d move back and forth to keep her going, and I’d talk to her about how excited I was for her arrival.

That Saturday was different. Ruby didn’t want to “play”. I spent 10-15 minutes poking and prodding, and moving from one side to the other, but she wasn’t interested.

I tried not to worry. I didn’t want to be “that” parent, the new mom who panics over nothing, so I got up, went into the kitchen, and I drank some water hoping it would wake her up. Then I sat down to watch college football with Andy in order to distract myself from the worry I was trying to push to the back of my mind.

We ate lunch around 12. At this point, I have no idea what we ate, but it didn’t wake her up. I voiced my concerns to Andy sometime that afternoon. He told me that she was probably just resting, but it had been too long and my worry was growing.

I drank something sugary, maybe coke, and laid down on the couch to do a kick count mid-afternoon. The 30 minutes went by agonizingly slow, and I didn’t feel anything so I told Andy I was calling the doctor who told me that everything was probably fine, but to come in and they’d hook me up to the monitors in order to make sure everything was, in fact, “fine”.

At that point, Andy and I got up, took care of our dogs, and headed out the door. I drove the 40 minutes to the hospital because I honestly thought I was overreacting and we’d be driving right back home in a few hours. Because I thought I was overreacting, we didn’t tell anyone we were going to the hospital. I didn’t think that we’d be admitted and that Andy would then have to drive my huge vehicle, which he wasn’t a fan of or comfortable driving, home to check on the dogs later that night. I didn’t think about grabbing my hospital bag. I didn’t think about any of these things because I was laser focused on getting to the hospital, while trying to feel even the slightest movement, while praying I was indeed overreacting.

Fast forward 40 minutes and we were parked and walking across the bridge to the maternity ward of the hospital. They stopped Andy at the desk to check in and sent me back to a small room around the corner where a nurse was waiting. While she made copies of my license and insurance card, Andy joined me. We were then taken into a smaller room off to the side and I was instructed to go into the bathroom attached, undress, and put on one of those oh so flattering hospital gowns.

Once I was back in our small room, I laid down on the bed, and was finally hooked up to the monitors. There is was, Ruby’s heartbeat. There will never be words to truly express how much relief I felt when I heard her heartbeat. We sat and listened to it, the nurse watched the screen, my toenails were painted red so she made small talk and asked if I was a GA fan. It seemed for a moment, that yes, I was just overreacting.

And then her heart rate dipped. And my blood pressure was reading high.

We watched the monitors a little longer. One of the monitors tracked Ruby’s movements. The nurse would tell me every few minutes that it seemed as if she had moved and asked if I’d felt it.

No, I hadn’t felt a thing.

My blood pressure was still high and Ruby’s heart rate kept dipping so she called the doctor on call and they ordered an ultrasound.

Andy and I sat listening to Ruby’s heart beat and discussing my blood pressure. When the ultrasound tech came in, she made friendly small talk as she began, but then she got quiet and her face grew serious. Another doctor came in and they pointed at the screen and vaguely talking amongst themselves. Now they both looked concerned. It felt like that ultrasound lasted an hour. They were probably only there for 10 minutes though.

After that, things moved very quickly. I don’t remember if they told us what they’d found on the ultrasound right then or if they left and came back to tell us. I do remember that they told us that they wanted to perform an emergency c-section as soon as possible. They listed several reasons behind the decision: I was almost at my due date I had pregnancy induced hypertension. Ruby wasn’t moving as much as they’d like on the ultrasound and her heart rate kept dropping.

Andy and I looked at each other and without hesitation agreed. I was worried about our little girl, but I was hopeful that we’d gotten to the hospital in time.

Everyone left and we began making phone calls. We called my parents, my brothers, Andy’s mom and sister. I called my closest friends and we told everyone that we were going to have a baby today. We gave them the reader’s digest version of what had brought us in: I hadn’t felt Ruby moving, but we were able to pick up her heart beat on the monitors. I have pregnancy induced hypertension and she’s not moving as much as they’d like on the ultrasound so they’re going to perform an emergency c-section. We had to keep it short because the anesthesiologist came in the room shortly after.

We signed all the paper work, I was instructed to remove my jewelry, put my hair in a hospital cap, and we were given information about what was about to happen. I tried to listen, but I couldn’t focus on anything she was saying. I do remember she was very maternal, very nice, and was very empathetic. I appreciated that and I needed it.

I was then wheeled out with Andy in tow holding the bag with all of my belongings. We passed the recovery rooms where they took Andy to put my things down and get him dressed and ready and they continued to wheel me into the operating room.

I wished more than anything that Andy could have been in that room with me from start to finish because it’s a scary place to be. Scared, worried, unsure, surrounded by people you don’t know and practically naked….not a fun situation. On top of being alone with all of those emotions, Andy also had to wait until they’d given me an epidural before they brought him in.

And for those of you who don’t know….spinal epidurals hurt A LOT .

I remember clinching my eyes shut so tight it made my head hurt. I remember the nurses who were with me telling me to “breathe” and “it’s almost over”. It felt like it took forever, but I was finally helped to lie down on the operating table where they proceeded to strap my arms down (which I hated). But, finally, Andy was with me again.

Dr. Evans came in and began the c-section. I remember feeling the sensation that I needed to cough, but being numb from the chest down prevented that. I remember feeling like I was going to pass out so I started taking deep breaths. I remember getting extremely hot so they turned on a fan. I don’t remember what the doctors were saying. I don’t remember talking to Andy during the procedure.

I do remember that when Ruby was finally here, when they pulled her from my body, she did not cry and they did not stop to let us see her. They rushed her out of the room and we were left in the operating room where the doctor began to close me up.

“She wasn’t crying.”

That’s what I said to Andy. “She wasn’t crying. Is she okay?”

Andy reassured me the best he could. The anesthesiologist came over and tried to reassure both of us.

Then I remember thinking and I may have even said out loud, ‘We’re parents. She’s here.’